Social/emotional development of 6 year olds

Over these middle years you will see the gradual development of your child's social skills and an increasing ability to relate to the outside world at school and with friends. Children have a great desire to fit in and be accepted by their peer group, and some degree of peer group acceptance is essential for their self esteem.

Try to help them negotiate their way through the peer group 'rules' about what they 'have' to wear and what is acceptable to take for lunch. You can help them come to some sensible compromises between family values and peer group values. Peer group values are sometimes both rigid and superficial, but cannot be completely ignored.

At these ages many children want to play with children of the same sex and sometimes stereotype members of the opposite sex. This is normal, and offers you the opportunity to point out that both sexes are capable of doing lots of different things not just 'boy' or 'girl' things.

While children of six and seven share activities and enjoy each other's company, it is usually not until they are eight that they begin to be capable of truly imagining what it is like to be the other person and forming sustained friendships. They have lots of energy, and because of their sometimes narrow and rigid emphasis on sticking to 'the rules' their efforts to play together in a group can easily go astray. Adult guidance and assistance can help to keep their play positive.

At different ages and according to personality children in these years are likely to be full of bravado and over confidence, or conversely full of grave doubts about themselves.

• They will be beginning to be more responsible.
• They will have some understanding of rules at 6 years and at 7 may want to add some rules of their own.
• They will be starting to be more careful of their own belongings (at about 9 years).
• They will like to win at games but will not yet be able to lose cheerfully.
• They may tell lies or steal. They may not yet have fully developed the adult understanding of right and wrong.
• They will be starting to like team games (8 years).
• They will like going to school unless they have some problem there.
• They may have problems with friends; most children do from time to time.
• They are starting at 8-9 years to understand another person’s view of things.
• Most children enjoy going to a sleep-over at a friend’s house.